We Are So Blessed

I was checking out at the store with a bajillion boxes of Ali's favorite crackers, and a fellow customer and I got to talking about Ali and his autism. She said "I'm so sorry to hear that! That's terrible!" To which I replied, "Don't be sorry. It's not what I would've chosen for my son, but we are blessed."

I have friends who are autistic and on the "higher end" of the spectrum, for lack of a better term. They don't want to be pitied. Why? Because they feel that it is part of what makes them special. If I could take away all of Ali's pain and struggle I would do it in a heartbeat, but I wouldn't want to change who he is as a person.

A lot of parents of autistic children say that autism doesn't define their child. That they are not their diagnosis. I agree to an extent. Of course Ali is more than a diagnosis! But autism is such a huge part of who he is! Autism is ever present in his mannerisms and behaviors. When he eats, sleeps, and feels, autism is with him. When he's stuck in his own little world where no one else can get in, autism is keeping him company.

This is why it severely pisses me off when people talk about how their child was "cured" of autism. It isn't a disease that you take away with a pill or dietary changes. You don't just wish it away. You can treat the symptoms to ease the person's struggle, but it is a neurological disorder that will be present forever. You don't just wake up one day without it! My child doesn't need to be cured! Shoot, he doesn't even need to be understood by everyone! He just needs to accepted. He needs to be LOVED for who he is, autism and all.

I won't lie. It ain't all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, autism sucks. And if it is sucking for me, I can only imagine how Ali is feeling in that moment. But I am a firm believer that God has a plan for all of us. He knows what He's doing, and He doesn't owe me an explanation. God Himself planned Ali's life! He knew Ali even before he was in my womb. God made Ali, and He doesn't make mistakes.

So don't feel sorry for us. We are right where we are supposed to be. Sometimes it's hard, and I wish I could take every ounce of his pain and frustration away. It's not what I would've chosen for him, but we are blessed beyond measure.